After seven years of making it work with my boyfriend from Cyprus (whom I met while he was studying in my hometown of New York City), finally it seems that we have exhausted all of our possible options which have enabled us to stay together so far.
We have played by the rules for so long. Rules that tell us because we are a same-sex bi-national couple – we cannot support one another to stay legally in either’s country – like any heterosexual couple have the right to do. We have tried going back and forth from continent to continent, leaving every three months in order to satisfy the 90 day allowance we are permitted to stay on foreign soil. We have tried applying for all types of jobs in hope that we would gain work visas. We have taken loans to go to university in each other’s homeland.
If you name it, we have probably done it. It even crossed our minds to marry a lesbian or someone who could help us get dual citizenship. At last check, people who are caught marrying for this purpose, were fined up to $250,000, possible 5 years in prison and of course deportation.
A few months ago, I was on the verge of risking it, but then I read about a new law in Greece (where we have lived legally together for the last two years because he is Greek Cypriot, and I was on student visa), if a non-EU citizen marries a Greek, they must have a child together within the first three years of marriage, or else wait ten years before the foreigner could even apply for EU citizenship.
Unfair but true – heterosexuals have endless opportunities to marry and divorce like it’s a fad. Gays are denied this luxury because it’s not of “family values”.
In Vegas, I’m told straights can get married by an Elvis impersonator at a drive-thru window, and of course as soon as they wake up hungover the next day, they can get their precious vowels annulled immediately if they have any drunken regrets. Let us not mention countless celebs who have taken advantage of their right to union, but if we want to drop some names just for the sake of it, we’re probably aware of recent cases from the likes of J. Lo, Liza and of course Britney. Liz Taylor is notorious for all the X’s up on her mantle too, and let’s not forgot Prince Charles or Donald Trump who just tied the knot, again. The list is endless of straights who systematically abuse the system. Good for them that they take the sanctity of marriage so lightly, I wish I could even marry once – so that my partner of seven years and I can live easier, without the fear that every few months we will have to part, and scheme ways to reunite somehow. We don’t even have to “marry” in a church, or under some divine authority, but as human beings who have shared the sacred elements of love together for so long, we deserve the right to sponsor each other in the event we decide to live in either’s homeland.
So, after seven years, we will unwillingly have to say goodbye yet again; torn apart by hypocrisy, prejudice and ignorance.
This picture is of my Cypriot boyfriend (in the DC t-shirt) and I, taken the year 2000 in front of the White House.
~Vincent Di Santo
vidisdot@yahoo.com
